


The Wraith War

by pebbles1971



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Flirting, M/M, Oblivious Rodney McKay, Pining John Sheppard, Space Battles, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:15:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23930650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pebbles1971/pseuds/pebbles1971
Summary: John flirts, Rodney is oblivious, Elizabeth Weir makes a return, and space battles happen
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Comments: 10
Kudos: 92





	The Wraith War

**Author's Note:**

> I watched Ghost in the Machine a while back and just couldn't bear the way they spaced Elizabeth, so I wrote this. I mean, I'm no Weir fan but that was some cold writing.
> 
> Also - my ongoing mission to write the most ludicrous take on where the boys' inability to communicate can get them.
> 
> The fic has no depth or deeper themes whatsoever but I hope it entertains. 
> 
> I've been promising another longer fic for a while - this isn't it.
> 
> Content note for grief and bringing back the dead. Please let me know if I missed any tags/warnings

John was used to the US military making ridiculous decisions but the day they gave him full command of Atlantis his estimation of his superiors only went downhill.

‘I’m responsible for waking the wraith, I’m responsible for authorising McKay to change the base code, getting Elizabeth Weir killed and ultimately wiping out whole planets. But you save one planet . . .’ (ok, your own but still) ‘. . . and everyone thinks you’re some kind of hero,’ he didn’t say.

Instead, he said thank you for the nice medal and the promotion to full bird Colonel because either a) he was learning to play The Game or b) he was selling out. Which, now he thought about it, probably amounted to the same thing.

When they told him that Rodney would be the civilian leader (but with the military now in charge) his incredulity only deepened. He could work with Rodney, no question, but that was only because they were two of the most maladjusted humans in the known universe.

As ever, it was going to be Teyla and Ronon who would be the real glue that held them together and wasn’t it just gross (and deeply xenophobic) that those two did all the heavy lifting but got none of the credit? He got them both a huge raise, US dual citizenship, and as much recognition and fancy job titles as he could muster for them, but it felt hollow. They were better people than him and Rodney and they both knew it.

His and Rodney’s last beer on the pier Earthside felt more like a wake than a celebration, and the mood had nothing to do with them leaving their home planet.

The moon reflected on the ocean, away from the bay, and Rodney’s pale face shone out in the dark. It could have been romantic, John reflected bitterly, even though the moon was all wrong in both size and quantity.

‘I thought we were going to be stuck here for sure when I heard the decision.’ Rodney said with a horrified edge to his voice. ‘You and me in charge? Well, no doubt of a mothballed base that’s going to simply sit around somewhere on Earth waiting for the next alien attack.’

‘Same,’ said John gloomily, sitting as close to Rodney as he possibly could, because McKay was either a) never going to catch a clue or b) (more likely) had caught that clue years ago and chose to simply ignore it. ‘’specially when Earth’s control chair went up, thought we’d be Earth’s last line of defence. But apparently not. Though our first job back in Pegasus is to trade for the control chair on the planet with the sister facility to Atlantis – you know, the one with the crazy royals and their homicidal advisor who died a Shakespearean death.’

‘Hmm, the one where you Kirked with the king’s daughter?’ Rodney said, a tad reproachfully.

John felt himself blush. Mara was the story of his life, really – women throwing themselves at him and him going along with it, meanwhile harbouring hopeless crushes on guys that he rarely acted on, least not since college and a very broken heart.

Joining the Air Force had given his heart a measure of protection in that regard.

‘Mara,’ John said, and shivered enough to get a sharp look from Rodney. But McKay was never going to take that information and do something with it, which given their new roles was probably for the best. Not that John’s feelings didn’t compromise him all to hell anyway.

‘But no,’ Rodney said, apropos the conversation three turns back along the highway, ‘they give us twice the crew and send us home to “wipe the wraith out by any means necessary”. They must be insane if they think you and I are the best folks for that job. No offence.’

‘None taken,’ and John could feel himself smile for the first time in days at the sheer absurdity of the situation.

***

They had been on Earth for three months doing repairs, resupplying and deploying new personnel. Keller predictably decided to stay on Earth but Rodney surprisingly didn’t seem to mind much when they broke up. John remembered future Rodney’s love for her with no small amount of confusion – _this_ McKay seemed to have liked the idea of loving her but had never followed through.

It irked John, to be completely honest. It was far easier to lose out to some great love that was written in the stars than to be simply not considered as an option. It wasn’t even that McKay didn’t swing his way – there’d been a drunken confession early on about various guys in postdoctoral labs, then in Nevada and Russia.

No, Rodney just wasn’t interested. God knows John had flirted enough to know for sure he was being rebuffed, albeit very gently. The flirting clearly wasn’t unwelcome, Rodney always seemed comfortable with John’s touch and proximity, but it wasn’t going to turn into anything more except in John’s constant fantasies.

At first, it had been simple lust. From the moment he’d seen Rodney’s perfect ass (not long after he saw Rodney’s gorgeous blue eyes clashing with that godawful orange fleece), he’d wanted to throw him face-forward over the nearest surface and do unspeakable things to him. That impulse had lingered relentlessly for two years, through casual and then increasingly blatant attempts at flirting, even after Rodney was seeing Katie Brown. It had just become a habit after a while, and Rodney never took it amiss.

He just did nothing about it, goddam him.

But after a couple of years his feelings began to change, and by the time they’d lost Elizabeth, it was something else entirely. Didn’t help that John was achingly _sad_ all the time, but he no longer fantasised about hot, uncomplicated sex with McKay. Oh no, this was far worse. Lying in bed every night, he would imagine Rodney spooning up against him, kissing the back of his neck and holding him tight. He felt like such a big fucking fool, but his fantasies kept him going, somehow, and the close friendship he had with McKay, and the physical closeness he allowed John meant that he simultaneously comforted himself whilst driving himself nuts.

It wasn’t that he didn’t still fantasise about sex with McKay. It was that for way too long now it had gone so far beyond just _object of lust_ , had sailed past _hopeless crush_ and had landed steadfastly and stubbornly on _stupidly in love_ with his best friend.

***

They’d been back on New Lantea for three months when Rodney came up with the Really Bad Plan.

It had been a productive few months. With the help of Abraham Ellis and the _Apollo_ , who was permanently stationed now in Pegasus, much to McKay’s disgust, they had taken out fifteen hives and a wraith cloning facility. The plan was all-out aggression – the wraith had already taken a battering and the Lanteans were pressing their advantage. John avoided the word _genocide_ except in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep and tried not to soothe himself by dreaming of McKay cuddles.

Fucking great, ruthless War Commander and Lovelorn Adolescent. He wasn’t sure which bit of himself he loathed more.

‘We need Elizabeth Weir,’ Rodney said, alone in John’s office, as usual oblivious to or simply ignoring the way John had come round his desk and manoeuvred them both into leaning against the desk thigh to thigh.

‘I mean, yeah Rodney, those are shoes we’ll never fill, but I thought we were doing a better than expected job.’

‘No no, I mean we can rescue her – from when we spaced her.’

John went very quiet. There were a lot of reasons he was sad pretty much the whole time but that was near the top of his list.

‘That wasn’t Elizabeth,’ he said reflexively.

‘You see, you keep saying that, but I don’t think even you believe it.’

Damn him. Rodney was right.

‘Rodney . . .’

‘Listen, John, I know we had to do it at the time, and I know that pretending it wasn’t her was a way of coping for you . . .’

Except it wasn’t working.

‘But I’ve been figuting out better protocols to isolate the lab and secure her. And we could really use her help, even if it wasn’t the right thing to do. Which it is.’

John knew the danger of getting swept up by Rodney’s confidence and genius and just going along with his ideas. He couldn’t do that this time. The decision was his, and his alone – it made him feel suddenly, horribly lonely.

‘Okay, McKay, I want a full detailed report of the entire plan, all safety protocols and failsafes, and I need you to give me a week to think about it.

*** 

John had never quite learned the difference between the uncertainty you feel when something is a terrible idea and the type you feel however good the idea is. Uncertainty was part of his world, the chance of death or disaster an ever-present risk. He supposed he must be good at making the right calls on an instinctive level, but he wasn’t arrogant – so many times his uncertainty had been right on the money and he hadn’t sensed the difference. So as they pulled Elizabeth’s deep-frozen replicator body out of space, He honestly couldn’t tell if he was dooming the expedition or simply recuing a good (and useful) friend.

They had her back in Rodney’s new secure lab within the hour, and Rodney put her on the construction table, reconfiguring her for his new protocols. In the process, he restored her correct face, and oh boy, did that make a difference to how John felt about her. Seeing Elizabeth, _their_ Elizabeth lying on the table, he began to believe, or at least hope, that she’d come home. He dropped a hand on Rodney’s neck.

‘Well done, buddy. It’s good to see that face.’ Damn, he did not have tears in his eyes. Rodney matched the emotion in his look, but said nothing, just carried on checking readings and entering data on his tablet.

‘It’ll take an hour before we can rouse her,’ he said eventually. ‘Let’s send Kevin to get us burgers while we wait.’ Kevin was the senior staff’s assistant. John had no idea how they’d managed for so many years without him.

An hour later, Rodney was fastidiously wiping grease from his fingers before picking up his tablet again. He had a speck of ketchup in the corner of his mouth, and John just wanted to lick it away, but he settled for recklessly moving in to smear it away with his thumb. Rodney froze for a nanosecond, then acted as if nothing had happened, which was the kindest way to rebuff him, John supposed. But Rodney’s silence always allowed for a stubborn seed of hope to remain.

‘Okay, here goes,’ Rodney said nervously, as he set the wake-up protocols in motion.

Elizabeth’s eyes opened instantly – not like a human waking from sleep, like a robot coming online. She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the table in a fluid and inhuman motion.

‘Wait, Elizabeth,’ Rodney said, and she froze. Even though he knew Rodney had written command protocols into her code, the implications of that suddenly gave John chills. She wasn’t moving, or blinking, or responding in any way.

‘Okay, you can talk to us, Elizabeth, just stay sitting for now please. But you don’t have to be so still.’ John clarified. _Because it’s creeping me the fuck out._

‘John? Rodney?’ Damn, the voice was off – it sounded more like Fran than Elizabeth.

‘I can fix that,’ Rodney said, tapping away at his tablet, but John just stepped up to Elizabeth and smiled nervously. ‘It’s good to see you, old friend.’

‘John . . . I feel . . . different. Like I’m trapped. I don’t like it.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Rodney said, his face flushing. ‘It’s temporary. Til you can build a body for yourself. It was the only way we could safely bring you back.’

‘I can’t build a body with these protocols enabled, Rodney. I’ll be trapped like this. I’ll be your slave.’ The voice was emotionless, of course, but it still cut all the way through John. What the fuck had they done?

‘Rodney, can I speak to you outside please?’

Rodney’s face was pale and John didn’t have the heart to berate him. He didn’t know what they were going to tell Teyla and Ronon (They’d decided not to say anything til they were sure of the outcome, not wanting to put them both through more heartbreak – Teyla and Ronon had both loved Elizabeth).

They had been so worried about making sure Elizabeth didn’t harm them they had failed to consider how much harm they could do her.

‘We can’t leave her like that, Rodney.’

‘I know, I know. I can change her programming so that she has more free will than that – but ultimately as long as she’s a replicator, we have to have control of her, she’ll have more of an illusion of free will, but she’ll still be our prisoner and . . .’

‘Our slave.’

Rodney just nodded, mutely.

‘So we have to talk it through with her, ask what she wants. Are there failsafes you can programme in the meantime that would work better? Something like Asimov’s Laws of Robotics?’

Rodney gave him a withering look, which was more comforting somehow than the former pale, forlorn stance.

‘Yes, it would be so much better if she was subordinate to all humans, not just you and me . . .’

‘Point.’ John conceded. ‘Okay, c’mon, let’s talk to her.’

*** 

Elizabeth Weir was angry. On one level she understood why her friends had turned her into their slave, but that didn’t change the facts.

They were holding all the cards, so although it looked like a negotiation, it really wasn’t. She now had protocols enabling her to do whatever she liked, so long as she didn’t try to escape from the lab or do anything that could cause a human harm (‘Asimov has his uses after all,’ Rodney had said, but she had no idea what that meant, nor did she care). It was nothing more than a longer leash, and they all knew it, but at least it meant she wasn’t having to respond obediently to John and Rodney’s every word.

The worst thing for her was that she was full of feelings, but unable to express them. Her voice, now sounding like her own, was stiff and cold. She had given up trying to convey how much she was hurting because the evenness of her tone neutralised everything she said.

She and Rodney would work together to find a way of freeing her. But she was also willing to help them in the Wraith war. It was the kind of quid pro quo you make with an enemy, not a friend.

So, she would take that role and put herself first. All that mattered now was getting free.

***

When they told Teyla and Ronon, finally, they were both really, really pissed.

‘I think the two of you sometimes do not understand the difference between supporting and enabling each other,’ Teyla said, as angry as John had seen her in a long while. ‘You put those things into space in our galaxy for anyone to find, now you rescue one of them because she is your friend and again do not consult even the token members of Pegasus about it.’

John and Rodney just hung their heads like busted schoolboys.

‘We should have had a say,’ Teyla continued, ‘Elizabeth is our friend too and we were always a team, but it is more than that – the replicators killed hundreds of thousands of our people, in no small part because of decisions previously made on the spot by the two of you. I was forgiving of what happened at the time, but now? I just wish men from such a privileged life in such a privileged world could learn to think a little deeper and a little wider than you both do – you’re very clever, both of you, and I love you dearly, but sometimes you act like very spoiled children.’

She swept out of the room and Ronon followed her with nothing more than a glower.

‘Fuck.’ Said John.

‘Fuck.’ Said Rodney.

She was absolutely right, and it was too late to do anything to fix what they had done.

***

Between what to do about Elizabeth and what to do about Teyla and Ronon, John didn’t sleep for a week. Finally, though, he ran his thoughts past Rodney (which was second nature by now) and the two of them met with Teyla and Ronon.

‘Okay, first of all, I want to say that rescuing Elizabeth, that was my call.’ Rodney shifted in his seat and opened his mouth to protest, but a stern look from John quieted him. ‘The buck stops at me, and I’m ready to undergo any accountability process that needs to happen. You have every right to take a complaint forward to –’

‘John, I do not think that will be necessary,’ Teyla said, and Ronon nodded his agreement, even though he was still clearly angry.

‘I need to be accountable, Teyla. But I have some thoughts about that.’ He raked a hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck, before realizing these mannerisms were exactly the body language of the nervous kid he still thought he was.

But in reality, he was a grown-ass man with an astonishing amount of military power at his disposal, and he needed to start stepping up to that. So, he sat up straight and gripped the tablet on the table in front of him.

‘What I’m about to say is just between us, okay? I don’t think I should have this job; I don’t think I have the maturity. Since getting it, it’s weighed heavy on me. I thought I was “the man” and that I had to figure out all the big decisions myself. But the thing is, the only thing I ever had going for me – the reason I was a good leader even a little bit, is because I listened to other folk who were smarter than me.’

The other three all nodded at this.

‘Then there’s you two, Teyla and Ronon, and the guilt I feel about what I’ve done to the people of your galaxy. I’ve personally made decisions that have killed . . . too many people to count.’ He sighed. No amount of therapy was ever going to undo that guilt, he just had to live with it. It was right for him to live with it.

‘So when they told me to come back and kill the wraith, I saw my opportunity to make up for what I did and I took it right onto my shoulders. And I saw straight away that the two of you should really be in charge here, if it wasn’t for the xenophobic way my people do things, and I had some guilt about that, and worry about leaning on the two of you in my command, exploiting our friendship and being lazy about my own responsibility. So I went in the opposite, very wrong direction.’

‘Didn’t realise you thought all that,’ Ronon said at last, his voice a blend of grumpy compassion. ‘Maybe you’re overthinking it?’

‘Well, yeah.’ John sighed. ‘So what I want to ask your consent to do is . . . will you co-lead with me? I can’t make it completely official but between these four walls I’d like us to make decisions jointly, and I’d like to signal to the folks here that that’s how we’re doing things. Because who the fuck decided the best way forward is for one mediocre, middle aged white guy to boss everyone else around anyway? That’s really not how I work, or how I think things should be done.’

Teyla looked at Ronon for a long moment, and then took John’s hand. By silent agreement, Ronon took the other, and they both reached out to McKay, on the other side of the table.

‘This is how we do things on Athos. By consensus. Many voices make a choir.’

‘And on Sateda, at least in better times,’ Ronon agreed.

‘Well, I’m the world’s worst team player, but I’m worse as a lone leader, so I’m in.’ Rodney said.

‘You work in this team, McKay,’ Ronon insisted.

‘Yes, Rodney, Ronon is right – we always worked very well as a team, I believe we are as your people say more than the total of our components,’ Teyla said.

‘Well, that’s settled, then, let’s go win a war,’ John smiled grimly – he didn’t want this role, or this war, but having his team around him again? That almost made it worth it.

*** 

Elizabeth worked day and night. When her former friends/current captors were awake, she advised them from the secure lab in which she was housed, sharing what the replicators had learned of the wraith’s weakness, offering the kind of insights that came from the combined knowledge of Elizabeth Weir and the replicator collective.

The most vital information of all was sophisticated means to track wraith technology – hives and cloning facilities could be located wherever they were in the galaxy, giving the Lanteans a huge advantage.

And it was making a difference – they were winning.

When she was alone, Elizabeth worked on her own liberation and that of Koracen and the rest. She couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Sometimes she felt like Elizabeth Weir. Sometimes she didn’t. There was no conflict within her but there were . . . different parts of her with different origins, different needs, different loyalties.

Most of all, though, she was simply done with Atlantis and everyone in it. She figured she had given, _was_ giving, enough. It was time to take something for herself and not look back.

***

John didn’t really want to know how they arrived at the perfected gene therapy that irreversibly removed the wraith’s ability to feed on humans. He was certain that prisoners had been involved and that once again the Geneva convention had gone right out of the window.

It wasn’t his call – the research was sanctioned above his paygrade, and anyway his team were philosophical – experimenting on prisoners was one better than genocide, and the wraith could not be allowed to continue as they were. They were, in the end, the result of an unethical science experiment made by arrogant beings and it was fitting that the equally arrogant and unethical successors of those beings should bring about their demise.

They found a planet without a stargate that would be the designated homeworld of the changed wraith. They would, of course, be stripped of their technology because a technologically superior race with cloning technology and spaceships was still a massive threat to the galaxy.

Word went out far and wide that the Lanteans were offering a deal: They were prepared to hunt the wraith to extinction, but any who surrendered would have the option of gene therapy and resettlement. Slowly, wraith began to surrender in dribs and drabs, weary of the war. Some of them even started to murmur how pointless their existence had become – who wants to be at war with their food?

Two and a half years after they returned to Pegasus from San Francisco Bay, the bountiful planet nicknamed Wraithworld had a population of three hundred and fifty thousand very pale, mostly harmless humanoids and those still fighting for their old way of life had banded together to make a last, desperate attack on Atlantis.

*** 

‘ _Rodney.’_ John’s voice was low and roughened with something like desire at the sight before him. Moments like this he thought that maybe, just maybe, he and Rodney already had something close to perfect. He couldn’t believe the scientist had done _this_ for him. He felt a wave of love for the man that almost knocked him off his feet.

‘Elizabeth found the plans on the database, and, well, you know that machine that’s like an advanced 3D printer? All I had to do was hit ctrl+P really.’

John knew there was no way that it had been that simple. The sleek, semi-circular spaceship gleamed from its roost on pier 4. It was about the size of a puddlejumper, but that was where the comparison ended. This was a warship, built for speed and manoeuvrability. It was to a puddlejumper what the Batmobile was to a station wagon.

John of course nicknamed her the _Falcon._

With the wraith fleet on its way, the ship had been finished not a moment too soon. It might just give them the edge they needed to finish this war once and for all.

***

John, Teyla, Ronon and Rodney were sat at their usual table in the mess. The mood everywhere was sombre – it was a little after dawn and everyone in the place was about to go to battle stations. The wraith fleet was two hours away. They knew they were going to win the war, eventually, and yet there was no feeling of victory. Cornered and desperate enemies could be at their most terrifying.

It was essential they didn’t make the same mistake the Ancients had and allow themselves to be manoeuvred into a siege situation. The wraith fleet was still sizeable – seventeen hive ships and uncounted darts – the only difference was, this was genuinely the _last_ seventeen hive ships, because their tracking abilities had gotten so good the enemy had lost the ability to run and hide. All the cloning facilities were long gone and they were down to the last two queens.

‘I’m coming with you.’ Rodney said stubbornly, his leg for once pressing back against John’s as if he actually noticed the physical contact between them.

‘No.’ John was equally stubborn. ‘You’ll be needed in the city.’ _I need to know you’re safe._

Teyla sighed. ‘We all want to be with John, Rodney, but there’s little we can do up there and we’ll be needed here – we have much better monitoring capabilities on the ground, and the three of us are going to be guiding John’s strategies.’

Rodney’s mouth sloped downward even more than usual. He turned to John.

‘Look. If you do one of your famous fucking suicide runs I’m going to . . .’ he sagged, clearly not knowing how to finish that sentence.

‘Not planning on it, McKay,’ was all John could promise – there again, he never did.

Ronon grabbed Rodney’s arm, held it tightly at the wrist, then reached the other hand to Teyla. She reached across in turn to John. John had no choice but to close the circuit, gripping Rodney’s forearm like he never wanted to let go.

There was nothing to say, they separated quietly and went to their respective stations. Not grabbing Rodney and kissing him goodbye was, in retrospect, a harder thing for John to manage than the pre-battle nerves associated with going into battle with a desperate foe.

He took the _Falcon_ up with just Charlie Grant, his co-pilot, for company. Charlie was a musclebound thirty-year-old with afro hair buzzed short and a terrible sense of humour. She was also the most skillful and intuitive co-pilot he’d ever worked with.

They cloaked in orbit far above the city and waited.

Teyla, Ronon and Rodney held their breath in the control room below.

Colonel Abraham Ellis did his last checks and took the _Apollo_ up, until it was poised floating like the hulking great brick it was high above Atlantis.

Evan Lorne rested back in the Control Chair, ready to release an army of drones.

A flotilla of cloaked puddlejumpers, nuke-armed and ready, followed the _Apollo_ into flight. Five squadrons of F-302s followed.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth Weir, deep in her lab, spared only a small thought for her former people and their impending fight. Mostly, her work for them done, she focused on building her means of escape.

***

John wasn’t going to pretend to himself anymore that he didn’t dream of dying a hero. It would be so much easier than lingering on in his aging body, weighed down with grief and guilt that he was never going to work through, not in a million lifetimes.

Too many things he could never have, never undo – his black mark, losing Holland, Mitch and Dex, waking the wraith and all the other Pegasus fuck-ups. Ford. The look Elizabeth gave him now they had found a way to give her some expression. The fact that he was never going to have Rodney the way he wanted (even though he knew the guy sorta loved him in his own funny way).

Going out in a blaze of glory would be kinda cool – taking flight and never coming down again. He’d never told his friends or whatever the latest shrink he was sent to, but yeah, he could admit in his own head that there had been a twinge of disappointment every time he’s been rescued last-minute from the jaws of oblivion.

But here was how he’d changed, how being the man at the end of the line had changed him: This wasn’t about him anymore.

What he wanted didn’t even factor into this. He was _the man_ , and everyone was looking to him. He needed to stay alive for them. He had the most manoeuvrable ship in the fleet, a ship the enemy didn’t even know about, a ship that responded uniquely to his strong gene. His job was to open doors for others to follow.

The first hive popped out of hyperspace and others quickly followed. John performed a short hyperspace manoeuvre and jumped the _Falcon_ right through to the tiny space inside the first hive’s shield, immediately taking the shield generator out with deadly accuracy.

The capabilities of the _Falcon,_ along with the fact that McKay built the thing gave him a semi. The Ancients had never got it off the ground – they designed it during the siege and didn’t have the materials – if they’d had it, maybe the war wouldn’t have been lost.

Cloaked ’jumpers nuked the unshielded hive in short order, but John was already inside the shield of the next hive ship, and the next.

_One, two, three down, fourteen to go._

Evan managed to take out two hives from the control chair as their shields weakened when they released their darts ( _five down, twelve left)_ , but two others managed to send out a flotilla to the city. John wanted to ignore them, focus on the hives, but wraith were sneaky.

‘Let’s get some F-302s and puddlejumpers after those darts, Sheppard,’ Ronon’s voice confirmed his thoughts.

‘Yeah – jumpers 2, 6 and 8 – go after those darts. F-302 squadron one, you follow, the rest wait to see if any more are launched.’

The ’jumper pilots had orders to switch from cloak to shield and fall back as soon as they fired their nukes – wraith would be able to trace the weapons and take them out even while cloaked. Jumper shields could withstand a lot, but jumper three was taking heavy fire from one of the hives – John slipped inside its shields and took them out, but it was too late – jumper three was obliterated in a silent fireball just before its aggressor made its end.

 _Fuck. That was Sanchez and Harris._ She was a damn fine officer, and he’d been a good sergeant.

The wraith were focusing fire on jumper five now – trying to pick them off one by one.

‘All jumpers fall back! Change of plan,’ John ordered, just as Teyla said in his ear ‘John, the jumpers are too vulnerable.’

But the _Falcon_ was just too quick for them to trace. He hopped inside another hive and took their shields out, saying ‘Lorne, think you can finish this one off for me?’

Drone fire obliterated the hive ( _seven down, ten to go_ ), but he was already inside the shields of the next target.

Where he flew into a cross-hatch pattern of energy weapons trained on the exact spot he’d been flying into for the last two runs. _Stupid, stupid._

He jumped out without taking the shields. Alarms were going off all over his console.

 _Fuck_.

‘They got our primary weapons, weakened the hull integrity and took life support down fifty percent,’ Charlie said calmly. The woman was unflappable. ‘I strongly suggest you think up a new plan before you hit the next hive.’

‘Sheppard? What’s your status?’ Rodney’s anxious voice came over the comms.

‘I’m good, Rodney, but the _Falcon_ ’s gonna need a little work.’

‘And this is why you needed me there,’ Rodney’s voice was tight.

‘I’m good – we’re good.’ John reassured himself as much as Rodney.

‘No more runs – they’re filling the spaces inside their shields with weapons fire – they’ll cut you to pieces.’ Teyla cut in.

‘Plus, the darts are making a concentrated run at the shields and they’re having a greater impact than expected – they’re weakening it – we need you down here.’ Rodney added.

‘On my way.’ He left orbit and followed the jumpers back to Atlantis. The remaining hives would have to wait.

‘This is _Apollo,_ you got a job for us yet?’

Ronon’s voice this time: ‘Keep the remaining hives occupied – but don’t stay too long in one place, Ellis.’

The _Falcon_ handled more like a plane in atmosphere than anything John had piloted in a very long time. Equipped with drones, she weaved through the enemy darts causing carnage as she went. 

Two hives followed them down into the atmosphere, making a run for the city.

‘Sheppard, we’re vulnerable where they weakened that shield, we need to stop those hives!’ Rodney’s voice was getting a little squeaky.

‘On it.’ John reassured him – but he had no idea how to get past those energy weapons. Unless . . .

‘Rodney, put the hive ship schematics on the HUD, will ya?’

‘What are you planning?’ Rodney’s voice was suspicious, but he had the schematics up before he finished his sentence. Damn, his team were good.

‘Okay, I can do that.’ John said to himself. He checked his weapon status – four small naquadah enhanced missiles, and a couple dozen drones, then he’d be down to good old-fashioned blasters. It was enough, though.

He noted that the last of the darts had been got by his brilliant jumper pilots and flipped the _Falcon_ round, headed straight at the first hive. This next bit wasn’t about fancy flying, it was about _math_ and that was almost as much of a thrill. He programmed in the jump, took a deep breath, and executed. . .

. . . Materialising right inside the dart bay and immediately matching his course to the plummeting hive. He fired the missile and was out of there within nanoseconds of detonation . . . which was getting to be a bit of a habit. The hive blew, taking the other with it.

_Nine down, eight to go._

‘Well done, John,’ Teyla’s voice came through. ‘We are not entirely sure how you pulled that off.’

‘Jumped into the dart bay. It was a cinch.’

‘You did _what?_ ’ If Rodney’s voice got any higher it was going to shatter glass.

‘Think you pissed off the boyfriend, Sir,’ Grant grinned.

Grant and her marine girlfriend had come out within minutes of the DADT repeal, so John knew there was nothing amiss here, he just felt inordinately pissed off that she was wrong.

He knew Charlie – trusted her, and if they got out of this alive that wasn’t going to change. He sighed and decided to try a little honesty – Charlie was about to be the first person he’d ever come out to that he hadn’t been about to blow or be blown by. Which meant at least if he died today, he’d done it once.

‘Honestly? He’s not my boyfriend, but not for lack of trying.’ John confessed.

Grant’s big brown eyes did a wounded puppy thing John had never seen before. ‘Awww. I’m sorry, I just thought . . . damn, all the Lantean queers thought you guys were the oldest marriedest couple on the base.’

_I wish._

‘Sheppard, Ellis needs backup, get back up there,’ Ronon’s voice interrupted and John jumped back into orbit.

The _Apollo_ had taken out three more hives ( _five to go_ ) but she was struggling. Dammit, she was supposed to attack and evade but she was just sitting there like the hulking great parking garage she resembled.

‘Ellis, report.’

‘They got us good, Sheppard, we’re dead in the water. I got engineers trying to get propulsion back online and we’ve reinforced the shields but our weapons are offline, we won’t be back in the fight for an hour, minimum.’

 _Shit._ John really didn’t know which way to go on this – taking the _Apollo_ out of the fight could mean defeat, leaving her in could mean losing her and her crew, and achieve nothing. But there was a slim chance they could get her back . . .

_You’re the man, Sheppard, you should know what to do._

Oh yeah, he did know exactly what to do. Ask his team.

‘Teyla, Ronon, Rodney – what do you think? Fix or abandon?’

 _Please say abandon,_ his gut whispered, he didn’t want to lose Abe – he’d come to like the guy – a lot, for all the rocky start they’d had with him.

‘The assessment is clearly not optimistic, I suggest we save our people and regroup,’ Teyla said with certainty.

‘I don’t think it’s worth the risk,’ Rodney said. ‘If we abandon her now the wraith might leave her alone and give us a chance to salvage – if the crew persevere, they’re going to be in a fight to the death over her, and they’re probably going to lose.’

‘What they said,’ Ronon added.

‘Okay . . . Abe, beam your people out of there – it’s too risky. Your lives are the priority.

The hives were focusing all they had on the _Apollo,_ and John couldn’t see her lasting much longer. Just to even things up a bit, he jumped inside the nearest hive’s dart bay and hit her with another warhead ( _four to go_ ). He couldn’t see himself getting away with that trick much longer, and the _Falcon_ was crucial to the Atlantis defence – he couldn’t risk her.

‘Abe, what’s the holdup? You need to get outa there.’ He said urgently. He could see the _Apollo’s_ aft shield weakening dangerously, ripples and gaps emerging as the hive weapons fired a relentless barrage.

‘We lost the transport beam, Sheppard, we’re concentrating on getting propulsion up.’

 _Fuck._ They weren’t going to make it. Did he risk another run at the hives? Without the _Apollo_ or the _Falcon,_ Atlantis would be doubly screwed.

‘Hang fire, John, we’re working on something. You can’t afford to try the same trick again, they’ll have adapted by now.’ Rodney had his confident voice back, and John just fell in with it.

John flitted around the hives like an annoying wasp, firing the few drones he had at the weakest point in the lead hive’s shield. Evan was doing the same from Atlantis, and the hive was weakening, but not as quickly as _Apollo_ was. John felt impotent, and nauseous. He was about to lose these men and for all his fancy ship, there was nothing he could do.

Their drones finally hit their mark, and suddenly they were down to three hives, but _Apollo_ was on her last legs, her shields straining and flickering, seconds away from collapse. Ellis came through the comm.

‘It’s been an honour to serve with you, Sheppard . . . John. You did good today. _We_ did good today. Nearly got these bastards wiped out.’

_I don’t want to say goodbye to another friend._

‘We’re gonna get you, Abe, hang in there.’

‘No, you’re not. Say goodbye, John.’

‘Fuck. Okay, look, Abe, you’re a good man, a good friend, and you’ve made a difference here. The honour is mine, truly.’

The drones from Atlantis suddenly stopped. The shields around the _Apollo_ fizzled out. There was an eerie calm and then the three remaining hives unleashed a volley of fire at the stricken ship.

But the fire bounced off a very large invisible object that had quietly inserted itself between _Apollo_ and the three hives. An intense burst of drone fire appeared out of the strange void. Up that close, the fire was devastating – two of the ships were obliterated, the third took heavy damage and ceased its aggression.

John collected himself and pulled his chin back up off the floor. ‘Nice flying, Lorne,’ he said drily.

‘Thank you sir.’ His XO’s cheeky voice came back from the control chair that was somewhere in the innocuous-looking but impervious patch of space in front of him.

_Good on you McKay, for figuring cloak and shield together._

He was bummed and a tiny bit jealous that yet again he didn’t get to fly the city, but thankful the strategy had worked so well.

‘John, we’re being hailed by the wraith.’ Teyla’s voice came through.

‘I think you and Ronon need to take that call. Rodney, can you asses the capability of the last hive? We’re gonna do a reccy from up here too.’

The hive had no weapons and no hyperdrive. Atlantis stayed as the _Apollo’s_ protector until a formation of ’jumpers were able to nudge her into a stable orbit that pulled her out of harm’s way, then Lorne took the city back down to the ocean below and the F-302s, puddlejumpers and _Falcon_ went back home to roost.

***

‘Do you know how long it’s been since the four of us ran a mission off-base?’ John was strangely excited to be with his team, heading their uncloaked puddlejumper into the bay of a wraith cruiser some hours after the battle.

Of course, they knew it was a trap.

The queen had requested their presence to negotiate an end to the war. Had invited them aboard the hive to work out an agreement. Which was why the jumper had an armed warhead ready to go off if he let go the dead man’s switch he picked up at soon as he’d landed.

Which was the first thing he politely explained to the drones who came to escort them to the queen.

They were marched down slimy, stinky corridors until they were brought into a wider but equally miserable space – the throne room.

On the throne was the queen. John looked at her and felt instantaneously drawn, attracted even. Ugh. That was the mind control thing kicking in, and this one was _good_. She had John on his knees in seconds and he was so fucking _bored_ of this act. The dead man’s switch was useless in his immobile hand.

‘Seriously?’ Rodney’s incredulous voice came from the sidelines. ‘We’re holding all the cards and you want to . . . what? Give us a demonstration of why you can’t be trusted and should be killed?’

Teyla stepped up to the queen, looking far more regal herself.

‘You are the last queen of the wraith. This is the last hive of a dying species. I am also a leader of a dying people, hunted to near extinction by your kind. I do not wish to show you mercy, but I will because that is how we differ. You have the chance to survive this day, to live your life in peace.’

‘Never!’ hissed the queen. She clapped her hands, and dozens of wraith poured into the room from every side. They were completely outnumbered and surrounded.

Teyla sighed. ‘Colonel Ellis?’ she said simply, and a white light took them out of the hive.

‘We had to try,’ she said, when they materialised on the deck of the still stricken _Apollo_. Radek had got the beam fixed, but that was all they could do. It was also all they needed.

John looked rueful.

‘What is the matter, John?’ Teyla asked.

‘I hate losing ’jumpers.’ He whined, but then he remembered the other jumper lost today, and how Sanchez and Harris wouldn’t be going back to their families. A wave of anger and hatred for the wraith swept over him. It was almost enough to make him loose the dead man’s switch – almost. Instead, he reached for Teyla and Ronon’s hands, and carefully manoeuvred the switch between them, until they had joint control of it. They had so much more need of this than he did.

‘The last of the feeding wraith,’ Teyla said, her eyes fiery.

‘Let’s end this,’ Ronon said simply, and he sounded old and tired and hurt, not triumphant at all.

Teyla inclined her head with a gentle nod, and they let go together. The switch clattered to the floor, and the hive ship in their viewscreen came apart with a quiet beauty.

John hurt to see his two friends with tears in their faces – overwhelmed more with what had been lost than celebrating the fact that it was finally over. He watched them collapse into each other’s arms. Stood, stricken, unaware for a minute or so of the tears in his own eyes. Finally, he unglued himself from the floor. Grabbing Rodney’s hand he joined the huddle in front of him, wrapped an arm round Teyla, another round Ronon. Rodney on the other side, still holding his hand tight, looking a little overwhelmed and maybe a little weepy too.

Eventually Teyla stepped back a little, taking John and Rodney by the hand. ‘You belong to Pegasus now, and Pegasus belongs to you.’

John felt something small but important align in his heart – a mended crack, a space filled. A sense of home he’d long ago learned to do without. He’d known he wanted this, but until this moment he hadn’t been sure he was wanted in return.

‘Of course,’ Rodney said quietly, suddenly looking around him to check for eavesdroppers, ‘you know that what we need to do next is secede Atlantis, right?’

John pretended to look shocked, but he’d been thinking exactly the same thing for a while. He did belong here, but only if he could be a Lantean. Earth had undone its mistakes but it needed to stop meddling and plundering now.

But that was a battle for another day.

***

As soon as the Wraith War was ended, Elizabeth was left to her own devices, and she worked 22.3/7 to organise her escape.

And now it was all falling into place. Koracen in replicator form lay on the table in front of her, programmed into sleep. If this worked, he was going to be awake and free and then so was she. She set the controls and watched anxiously, knowing she would be holding her breath – if she _had_ breath.

The replicator body disintegrated before her. She turned to a second table, which held an identical form. Except this one was breathing.

‘It worked, Elizabeth.’ Carson said, almost disbelieving. ‘He’s alive and his brain patterns are normal. No trace of nanites either.’

‘Wake him up?’ she asked, and Carson administered a stimulant. The man on the table slowly became aware of his surroundings, looked up at her questioning.

‘Elizabeth?’

‘Koracen, welcome back. You’re in Atlantis, and you’ve been given a body. How do you feel?’

‘Different,’ the man said. ‘I don’t know yet.’

He looked around the room, taking in the armed marines as well as Teyla, Rodney, John and Ronon.

‘Am I a prisoner?’ He asked.

‘That has yet to be decided,’ John said honestly. ‘You did some . . . damage . . . when you were last here, and we’re going to have to think about what to do next, but you’ll be treated fairly and given the same rights as any other human.’

‘Human?’ Koracen sounded the word like it was strange to him.

‘Yes. You’re human now, Koracen.’

They transferred the rest of the replicators into human bodies and Elizabeth could see the relief on Ronon and Teyla’s faces when the last replicator form disintegrated. The newly-minted humans were taken to a holding suite until their fate could be decided.

‘It is your turn, Elizabeth,’ Teyla said, and Elizabeth finally lay down on that same table and allowed Rodney to control the transfer process.

When she awoke, everything was different. She could hear the blood thumping to the beat of her pulse, feel air tickling the little hairs all over her body, smell the other people in the room around her. And she could also feel . . .

Oh. She had some emotions as a replicator, but she had forgotten _this_. She had forgotten how much she had loved these people.

***

John couldn’t tell if it was prejudice or not, but Elizabeth felt more real and more _here_ now. The first thing she did as she stood from the table was move across to Rodney and fling her arms around him.

‘Thank-you, Rodney, for finding a way to rescue me. I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but the imprisonment was worth it, to have this again. I can’t tell you how it feels.’ All the while she’d stayed hugging him, and now she pulled him closer, clearly reveling in the sensation of touch and closeness. Rodney’s face had gone a bit melty and did something funny to John’s heart to watch the two of them.

But then she hugged _John_ and he almost cried and that was just a little embarrassing with two of his toughest marines standing right there.

Teyla and Ronon were next. After all the doubts and hurt and friction, Elizabeth had come through – Rodney’s plan had worked not just to rescue their friend but it had helped end the Wraith War. This felt like one more load off John’s heart.

Elizabeth looked at the marines. ‘I guess it’s time to take me to my new accommodations?’ She asked resignedly. The marines looked at John, confused – unsurprisingly, as they had no idea where Elizabeth’s quarters were.

‘It’s okay, you’re both dismissed – we’ll take it from here.’ He said, then he turned to Elizabeth. ‘Er . . . we haven’t assigned quarters for you yet – didn’t know if you’d want your old ones back or new ones. You can take your pick.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘You’re free, Elizabeth, free to do whatever you want.’ Teyla said gently.

‘The slate’s clean.’ Ronon echoed.

‘But I did things . . .’

‘I think you’ve served enough time, don’t you?’ John took her by the hand and led her towards the now open door.

Rodney took her other hand. ‘Actually, if you’re willing, we thought it might be nice to take you to dinner.’

Elizabeth laughed, and that was when John knew this really _was_ Elizabeth – he hadn’t heard that laugh for four long years, maybe more, because god knows there hadn’t been much to laugh about before she . . . left them. But she was here now, and for the moment there was a joy in her face that John was profoundly grateful for.

‘You know what?’ she said, ‘I could eat something. It’s been a while.’

  
***

Things were fine for a couple of months, and then Elizabeth dropped her bombshell.

Life on Atlantis had been peaceful to the point of boring. John, Teyla, Rodney and Ronon had been quietly laying plans for secession, but to be done cleverly and peacefully they would have to play a long game. Elizabeth had been an enormous help, giving them precedents and tactics and legal frameworks and creative ideas and bargaining tools.

One day Atlantis would belong to Pegasus once again.

Koracen and the others had solved the problem of what to do with them, requesting confinement in the time-dilation sanctuary that John had once been trapped in, so that they could work towards ascending. Elizabeth had declined the invitation to join them.

Meanwhile, life carried on much as before, just with a little less adrenaline. John had finally managed to build a proper (ish) golf course out on one of the piers and he was delighted to find a golfing partner in Abe – the two of them were getting to be good friends. Well, John always did have a soft spot for abrasive and difficult types.

Him and McKay carried on the same as ever, with just a hint of disgruntlement from Rodney about the amount of downtime spent with Abe. But John kinda liked that.

Teyla and Kanaan had invited John, Rodney, Ronon, Amelia, Carson and Elizabeth to dinner, but Teyla seemed strangely subdued as she served up the delicious food her partner had prepared. John wondered if it was Torren’s mild fever that had got her so worried, but that would be unlike her.

Then Elizabeth said, ‘I’m going back to Earth,’ and Teyla was the only one who didn’t look shocked.

‘You can’t,’ John said flatly, something in his throat closing at the thought of losing her again.

‘I can’t stay,’ she said simply, and her eyes were so sad John didn’t know what to do with his own reflected feelings. ‘I’m not the same person anymore.’

‘You are to me,’ John said, although deep down he knew that was a lie. He couldn’t put his finger on just what had changed, and the truth was Elizabeth had always worn such a tight mask he’d only ever had glimpses of the real her. Maybe that was it – the woman in front of him now, relieved of the burden of command, not worried about life-sucking aliens, was relaxed and genuine in a way Elizabeth Weir never had been. But that was a good thing, right?

‘I honestly don’t know how much of this is about having been floating around the universe as a disembodied consciousness and how much is just that people change all the time – life happens, time passes, nothing stays the same. I just know my connection to Atlantis has been lost. Not to you, my friends, but that isn’t enough to keep me here.’

‘But you’re still _you_ ,’ John could hear the whine in his voice.

‘I don’t even know what that means, John.’ Elizabeth gave him a long, open look. ‘I think I’d like to find out and having a clean slate will help. I’m going back to Earth, to the SGC, there’s stuff I can do for them that I’m more than happy to do, but I need to not be on Atlantis. And I’m changing my name – to Jaqueline Dennis, my middle name and my mother’s maiden name.’

‘We’ll miss you, Elizabeth,’ Rodney looked devastated. ‘I mean we already missed you for so long, and were just getting used to having you back . . .’

‘We will miss you very much, _Jaqueline_ ,’ Teyla said carefully, and ~~Eliz~~ Jaqueline rose from her seat and went to her, giving her a sincere hug.

‘Oh, Teyla.’ She moved to the others in turn, hugging each of them. John didn’t let go of her for way too long. ‘I won’t stop loving you all, or valuing your friendship, but I have to go.’

***

Within a week, she was gone, forcing John to reevaluate everything. So much had changed, so much more was going to change in the next two years if they managed to secede. He would have to retire, of course, because he didn’t want to set off on a new adventure as a military deserter. He would have to let go of a lot of the Earthers here who wouldn’t want to join them in independence. He’d have to let go of Dave and his neices, and any hope that they would ever become a closer family. He wasn’t anticipating a smooth transition or an easy back and forth between Earth and Pegasus, although Elizabeth had thought there was a chance of a collaborative handover.

Would Rodney really let go of Earth, of Jeannie and Maddison? Of potential nobel prizes, journals and lecture tours? He’d yet to say for definite which way he was going to go. John sensed his hesitation, even though secession had been his idea.

And whether he stayed or left, John knew it was time to let go of this stubborn hope he’d been nurturing for the best part of seven years. Elizabeth made him realise that change is the only thing you can count on in the universe, and it was time to accept his unrequited love for Rodney belonged in the past. Even before he retired, DADT was over, he could start dating and have a good life rather than torturing himself with what he couldn’t have.

***

‘You know, what Elizabeth – I mean Jaqueline – said about nothing staying the same, it’s made me think about us – about our friendship and, er, stuff,’ John was only slightly slurring after his third beer on the pier some days later.

‘Sheppard, if you tell me you’re leaving me too I swear I will hunt you down and drag you back, wherever you end up.’ John was gratified to see there was genuine panic in the man’s eyes.

‘God, no, Rodney, I’m not going anywhere . . .’ his hand hovered over Rodney’s thigh but then he thought better of it, because he realised he’d been getting more and more handsy with Rodney over the 7 years they’d been hanging out and frankly, he was humiliating himself. If ~~Eliz~~ Jaqueline could start fresh, so could he. From today onwards, he was going to stop throwing himself at his best friend and put it behind him, find some guy out there who actually wanted to date him.

He reckoned he had a shot with Abe, actually.

‘So what are you saying?’ Rodney asked, still looking worried. He was only on his second beer, so he had John at a disadvantage. Plus, John was a lightweight and Rodney had the broad body mass to put it away easily.

‘I’m saying I need to lay off the flirting with you,’ he said honestly, and then immediately wished he hadn’t. ‘And I’m sorry for – you know.’

But Rodney just rolled his eyes, like they were talking about something trivial, not John’s stupidly broken heart. ‘Oh, you flirt with everyone, I know it doesn’t mean anything! I don’t think you even know you’re doing it half the time.’

_Huh? Hang on a sec . . ._

‘McKay. I do _not_ flirt with everyone.’

‘Yeah you do.’

‘I most emphatically _do not_.’ John used his military commander voice that time so Rodney knew he meant business.

‘But . . . but . . . you must do.’ Okay, he sounded a bit upset now and this conversation was just getting weird.

‘Why?’

‘Because you flirt with _me_.’ John recognised Rodney’s tone now, it was the one he got when humans were doing things he didn’t understand and he was drowning in subtext he didn’t get. And suddenly John was getting an inkling that he may have been missing some subtext himself. His heart began to flutter. Did Rodney really not understand that his flirting had been sincere? _Fuck._

‘Because what other reason, genius, would I have for flirting with _you_ if I didn’t flirt with everyone else?’ he said, almost with a smile.

‘I don’t know . . . to mess with me?’

Rodney looked so distressed and confused John actually felt sorry for him, as much as he also felt a little like slapping him round the head. He wriggled a little closer, careful to make sure McKay actually _noticed_ what he was doing.

‘Just to be clear, Rodney, when I flirt with someone, it _means something._ ’ He said, pressing his side into Rodney’s. ‘And I would _never_ do it to be cruel.’

‘But . . . you’ve always flirted with me! Since Antartica! Even when I’ve been dating someone!’

John had the decency to duck his head a little and blush at that.

‘Yeah,’ he said it like it was a confession, and looked back up. Rodney’s eyes went wide. ‘I kinda thought that didn’t matter since you weren’t interested.’

Rodney blustered adorably at that. ‘I didn’t know being interested was an option! You were on my _out of reach_ shelf! It never occurred to me . . .’ Rodney had a look on his face like someone had just changed the laws of physics on him (and to be fair, John already knew that look only too well).

A tiny spark of hope was growing in John’s heart. He decided to try something he’d tried a million times before, just in case the parameters had changed. He turned himself towards Rodney. Making sure he had the man’s full attention, he cocked his head to one side and met Rodney’s blue, blue eyes. He let his tongue moisten his lips, just for a second, then he bit down on his lower lip, slowly and deliberately. His eyebrow raised, just a little.

Rodney’s eyes went even wider. ‘That was . . . you just . . .’

‘Yes, Rodney.’

‘And you . . . _meant_ to?’

‘Yes Rodney.’

‘You mean, you wanted me to . . .?’

 _‘Yes_ Rodney.’

‘And we could have been . . . all this time?’ he sounded gratifyingly breathless.

‘Uh-huh.’ John found himself beginning to smile.

‘Oh. I think I made a very serious error in my calculations.’ Rodney looked so _thrown_ and it was adorable. It made him want to reach out . . . and he was pretty sure he actually could.

He reached a hand to cup Rodney’s face, and was rewarded with a tentative smile, something hopeful in McKay’s eyes that made John’s heart start beating a little wildly.

‘Rodney?’ he asked, noticing his own breathlessness.

‘Yes John?’

‘I’d really like to kiss you now.’

‘Oh, thank god, yes!’ Rodney said that as if he’d been waiting and wanting as long as John had, which was _impossible_ , surely?

John had waited for this moment so long and now it was here he was hesitating, suddenly unsure. What if it was no good? What if this was all in his imagination? What if Rodney wasn’t into it? What if they got it out of their system in a couple of days and then there was nothing there? What if he’d forgotten how to kiss a guy? (15 years) What if he’d forgotten how to kiss at all (4 years)?

And amid all that hesitation, Rodney just sighed, put his hand up to the back of John’s neck, and reeled him in for a kiss that was so hungry it left John in no doubt they were on exactly the same page.

Epilogue

The sex had been . . . well, exactly like you’d expect after 7 years of sexual frustration; very, very quick.

What followed was an astonishingly short recovery period and two hours of further detailed exploration of each other’s bodies. Even more astonishing was the way it felt like they had been doing this all along – they knew each other that well.

It was amazing, beautiful, mind-blowing even, but it really wasn’t a patch on what was happening right now.

John was lying in Rodney’s bed (well, he had that orthopedic mattress and it really was very comfy). He was turned on his side, looking out at the moons. Rodney had snuggled up behind him, arms holding him close, lips pressed against the back of his neck. He could feel hot breath disturbing the short hairs there, and it made him shiver with bliss.

Of all the things a person could want in his life and never have had, this right here was the thing John had been wanting for the longest time, had been fantasising about far more regularly and intensely than the other (many) things they had done together that evening.

One day, probably very soon, he was going to tell Rodney he was in love with him, which was astonishing enough because he’d never said those words to anyone, not even his ex-wife. But what was more amazing still was how certain he felt that Rodney was going to say the words back to him.

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I don’t at all approve of persisting with hitting on people when they’ve put you in the “friend zone”. In John’s defence, Rodney has never actually told him no, and all the touching and flirting was welcomed, even if Rodney didn’t know what it meant!


End file.
